Here is the next craft project I'm dreaming of making. "A spear?" you ask? "But whatever for? Fishing? Hunting wild boar?"
No.
Not hardly.
This is for something much more dangerous and pervasive.
Bicyclists.
"But Heather!" you say, "Bicycling is so green, hug the Earth, kum by ya!"
No. I am done with bikers. Especially freshmen U of MN bikers. Particularly the ones who ride on the sidewalks (over and past the "NO BIKES ON SIDEWALKS" signs), think they are above traffic rules, and are listening to iPods or - AND THIS IS NO JOKE, THIS I JUST SAW ON MY LUNCH BREAK:
Texting while bicycling.
Are you BLEEPING kidding me?!?!?!?!
So, how will I cure all of these ills with a spear? Simple, and you can certainly play too.
Make it a strong spear, not necessarily sharp, but strong and long enough to displace the energy so you can hold it tightly and jam it between the spokes of an offending bicyclist as they attempt to run you down on the sidewalk. Hold tight. Wait for bike to flip. Shake an angry fist at the downed cyclist and shame them for their nasty behavior.
If we all did it, we could start a revolution.
My husband thought this was initially harsh, but I think it's karma. Natural selection. JUSTICE.
Or, conversely, I suppose bicyclists could just start following the rules our society has agreed upon for said activity, following traffic rules and leaving the sidewalk to pedestrians, and maybe even putting down the iPod and cell phone so they can see/hear/react to the world around them. A novel idea, I know, but it just could be wonderful...
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