A Little Touchy...

I am not a "touchy feely" person. I am not a hugger. I believe firmly in the concept of personal space. That whole cliche "Mom, he's touching me!" cry from the backseat of the family car was something I uttered until I was about 16. This has only been amplified since my sense of smell went radioactive and my hormone levels have surged to nearly uncontrollable levels.

I am definitely NOT the kind of pregnant woman who welcomes belly grabbers.

In fact, other than dear sweet Alison, who asks so sweetly you can't bear to tell her no, I'm surprised anyone even tries to rub my bump. Especially people who know me.

But after our first larger family gathering since the establishment of said bump occurred this weekend, it is clear that I have a bump-grabbing family. Action must be taken. Short of slapping hands or installing a joy buzzer, here are some of the other options I've found:


$25, babybubbleclothing

I appreciate the snark, but it could backfire as people step up to actually read the message. Maybe something with a bigger graphic?



$20, mamamonkey

Hmmm, that might not be direct enough. How about:



$26, JellybeanApparel

But then, do I really need to be so polite?


$30.99, TeeWit

Now that is MUCH more of my sentiment...unfortunately, I've never been a fan of CafePress quality, and the price is a bit extreme for what essentially is an iron on.

Perhaps I'll have to actually do my own crafting? Can I still do that? It's been so long...I wonder if I could justtify buying a Yudu for the sole purpose of making one t-shirt? :)

"Literature" might be a stretch...

Could these book covers BE any more embarrassing?!?!?



Clearly it was time to consider making some book covers, ala 4th grade. Here's the step by step tutorial that I used to refresh my memory, and about 4 seconds later I had an easy mask for my terrible literature.

Before: woefully bad book you don't want people to see and judge you by (though you are not above reading it), and a piece of 11" x 17" paper. You can use any kind of paper you have lying around, this happens to be what I have access to. Paper bags are the old standby for their durability, but I'm really just looking to cover up the outside without damaging these (mostly borrowed) books:



Remember this ridiculous thing? I found myself with time to kill at a coffee shop last night, and this was the only book in my bag. I actually tried to hold it so that nobody could see the title and author. Definitely time for a book cover. 4 folds is all it takes - I didn't even need a scissor:



Voila! Formerly embarrassing books now cleverly incognito! I thought about writing something witty and misleading as an alternate title, but I kind of prefer the understated mystery of the plain white cover.

Kenyon books, you're next!

There is a book review in here somewhere...

How did I not have a "vampires" key word for labeling posts yet? Apparently when I first started sharing my secret shame with all of you, I didn't plan on making it a regular feature. Room to grow I guess. But since a sad amount of my life takes place on the vampire bandwagon, it's time for another installment of "those naughty books!"

Brief interruption: true story, minor digression: I was introducing the amazing Krista to my mother, and for some reason my primary technique for introductions involves describing people by what they were for Halloween the prior year. Yeah, it makes no sense to me either, but I can say the name "Krista" a million times and hubby won't know what I'm saying, but if I say "Meg Griffin Girl" he immediately gets it. Confused?

Clarification: Halloween 2008, Krista won "Most Original Costume" for her spot on Meg Griffin portrayal:



Is that not a spectacular yet simple home made costume? Love it! and it totally went with our "Hollywood Halloween" theme. Then, last year Krista once again pulled out a big bag of awesome with her twist on the Wonderland theme - VAMPIRE ALICE:



She made the red dress and white pinafore from SCRATCH, and I always give huge bonus points when people go to the lengths of pulling out a sewing machine and ironing board for costumes. That's commitment. And hello, how lovely are those fangs?!?! In a strange twist of fate, those creepy realistic chompers have a warning label cautioning you not to drink red liquids with them in. Apparently they stain - so sad. Maybe with a straw. Of course, in a pinch, Long Island iced tea works too.

Remember how this started out as a book review?

So one day, about 5 paragraphs ago, I was introducing Krista to my mother and explaining that she was in my "book club" and dressed up as Alice last year, Meg the year before. My mother gave a look of confusion "Oh, I don't watch those naughty shows..." assuming each was some sort of half naked character on a smutty vampire series. Egads. I'm developing a reputation.

AND IT'S ALL KRISTA'S FAULT. She is the local purveyor of all such smutty vampire media for a growing circle of us embarrassed but eager consumers. She got us all hooked and since she has the least willpower of all, she buys all the books immediately upon publication, reads them overnight, and then is nice enough to pass them around to the rest of us. I have previously admitted reading all of the Twilight books (terrible, but intriguing) and the Sookie Stackhouse novels (yum!) and then Charlaine Harris' other serials (not great, but good enough). Then for some reason I decided to spin out on my own and try selecting some books, which has not been nearly as successful. Thirst was awful (I had to erase that sentence 3 times to avoid bad unintentional puns - "sucked" and "bit" were my original choices, but even I couldn't do that to your ears. Eyes. Whatever.) After that fiasco (I'm still not sure if I'll give the other 2 stories in the book a chance) I dove into the Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series. I had high hopes. Another series to follow would be GREAT, especially one with a bunch of books already out so I don't have to wait a year between installments.

But I'm not loving Anita Blake. :(

It is definitely not anywhere near the craptacular nature of Thirst, but I'm not at all hooked either. I am finding it really hard to like the heroine, the weird religious undertones (souls are very important to her...which is not a given for me, and not well explained) and of course there is the problem that the covers look like romance novels (which I'm somehow more embarrassed about than if people actually knew they were vampire stories). The characters have annoying names I mentally trip over and argue with (Nikolaus for a woman just seems to be trying to hard), Jean Claude & Phillip just all blend together to become one cheesy vaguely French bustier ripping leading man - Jean-Phillipe-Claude-hopper. Blah. And there's all sorts of misty allusion to some dark thorny past that really needs to start coming out more significantly because I am just kind of bored.

I made it through the first book, not nearly on pace with books I've liked more, and it did pick up some towards the end, but I'm not sure if I'll be trying out any more of the series. Krista passed off a Sherrilyn Kenyon book which has an even MORE embarrassing cover, and the title "Fantasy Lover" that I'm planning to try next. I think I might have to start making little brown bag book covers for this kind of smut, sort of how a hobo hides their cheap liquor in a bag to lessen the shame. And hide from authorities.

I'm also mixing this up by starting "The Help", which I hear is very good despite zero vampires. An though I've borrowed it in hard cover so it doesn't fit in my purse, it is much less embarrassing to take out in public.

Craft Flashback

I have always greatly enjoyed getting mail. And sending mail. In college, I was an excellent pen pal, sending off strangely shaped packages and tubes to my besties who went to school out of state. I think getting a package in the mail, regardless of what is inside of it, makes you feel loved. I've slipped a little in recent years, mostly because postage has gone up so dramatically, but I still like to send little care packages whenever I can. Here's the cute box I sent to Ryan last week:



He was having a Valentine's Day party, for which I sent a batch of my famous PBCs, packed inside an adorable frog Valentine holder. Which I thought I snapped a photo of, but guess not. Drat. I decorated the outer box with Hershey's Kiss stickers, I thought this was a fun foreshadowing of the chocolate wonders inside, along with a sweet Valentine message. I also used silver foil duct tape to seal it shut, which matched the foil stickers (no regular old grey duct tape for me, pshaw!) I was a little worried that it wouldn't arrive on time, but the one bright spot on Saturday (more on that mess TBA) was when he called after receiving the package and said "Does your mother know you make these?!?!?" Then we proceeded to make plans for opening our own naughty bakery, ala Marge Simpson.

See, mail is fun! It leads to all sorts of adventures :)

So with that in mind, here's a shot from the vault, taken somewhere around 1999 or 2000. Yep, I'm finger painting on the floor of my dorm room. I'm pretty sure these got rolled up and sent to either Jana or Ryan.



I have no idea if the symbols actually created or message or were just background - who knows, those were wild days. While half my roommates were out partying, there I was...painting.

NERD.

Home Makeover: Craftastic Edition

Well, it took most of the weekend, but I have nearly fulfilled my organizational goals. I spent over 9 hours on Saturday and more on Sunday and Monday locked up in "the witch's tower", watching the entirety of True Blood Season One, and forcing myself to clean up the giant mess I'd let get way out of control. I'm happy to say, it is finally functional again! I have some pictures of the transformation, but first, a disclaimer - there are things in my craft room that will defy explanation. I can only say that a big part of my crafting is party planning, be that a holiday party, bachelorette, Halloween - there are remnants of each including a very bawdy "ring toss" game that the nuns are watching over. Not to draw too much attention to it, but don't judge me when you "find waldo." You have been warned. :)

So, to start off, I have to acknowledge the disaster that I had let this room become. Remember, this was all clean at Halloween...but when it came time to pack away the Halloween decor, I got busy...it made it up the stairs, but not back to storage. Thanksgiving, craft fairs, Christmas, a funeral, and several other events later, the carnage had stacked up and you couldn't even see the floor any longer! For example,

Before:


And after a little TLC:


A couple of neat notes here, that TV weighs about 200 lbs, and I thought hubby might die dragging it up the stairs. But the rectangular base it is sitting on is a lazy susan I found at the goodwill for $5, it was SUCH a deal! Now I can turn it to any angle depending on what I am doing or where I am working in the room, without any effort at all. The coffee table holding both is very sturdy, but again was about $10 at Goodwill. Score. The wire stand to the left of the TV was on clearance at Marshalls for $20, I got it thinking I'd use it for a craft fair of some sort but recently discovered it's the perfect size for DVDs.

Here's the other side of the room -
Before:



After:


This was really just a matter of taking the time to sort things back into where they are supposed to go. My key is having a home for everything - a clear plastic box with a lid, clearly labeled via my P-Touch:



The other end of the room was just as bad, and basically covered with giant boxes.

Before:


After:


I was actually hoping to get a couple more bookshelves to match the ones I already had lining both walls, but Target only had them in black and dark brown. Instead I picked up two of these square units in a similar color, which still worked pretty well:



These now hold all of my serving pieces and cake plates, as well as cake decorating equipment, cake pans, and other dessert tools.

I do have one big project left up there before I can say I've entirely re-organized:



These boxes are all of the receipts, product manuals, and other records that I need to sort into their proper files or shred. But now I actually have room to spread out and dig through all of that at my leisure. It had gotten totally out of control, to the point I had to struggle not to kill myself when reaching for the light switch:



But now look at all this luxurious work space -



Ahhh, crafting becomes fun again! And look, you can see my file cabinets, so I'll be able to sort out that mess above soon enough. To the left of the files is my sewing desk, also finally uncovered. And to the left of that is my new work bench, look Dad, I finally got that up too! My saw is sitting underneath it waiting for its first project :)



It feels pretty good to have gotten all of this sorted out, now let's hope I can keep it that way for a while :) I have a craft gathering coming up this weekend, and I'm excited to be able to access all my toys and get back to making pretty things!

5 More sites I have recently wasted significant time on:

totallylookslike.com - a few of these made me laugh out loud, which is not good when you are feigning work.

STFUParents.tumblr.com - a nice site if you appreciated "Pregnant Women are Smug." This is what smug pregnant women turn into after birth. I've seen so many of these people, I really should start submitting.

UgliestTattoos.com - See mom, I could have done so much worse.

awkwardfamilyphotos.com - I have resisted posting some of the gems from my childhood specifically because I fear ending up on this site.

ApostropheAbuse.com - this one is a GREAT idea, but needs a little help in the execution. They don't post regularly, but I continue to support it as a community service - apostrophe education is clearly lacking in our country.

You're just giving birth now, you're not Mother Earth now...

I've had this in my head for two weeks now (thanks "book club") so there's no reason why any of you should be immune. It's right up there with the Garmin Holiday Commercials as far as witty lyrics are concerned.



Lyrics - by Garfunkel and Oates

Pregnant women are smug
Everyone knows it, nobody says it
Because they're pregnant
Effing son of a gun
You think you're so deep now, you give me the creeps
Now that you're pregnant

I can't count all the ways how
You speak in clichés now

Riki: So, do you want a boy or girl?
Kate: Oh, doesn't matter as long as it's healthy
Riki: Really? 'Cause I don't feel that those two things are related. It's not like one or the other.
Kate: Oh, really, as long as it's healthy.

I can't wait to hear someone say
"Don't care if it's brain dead
Don't care if it's limbless
If it has a penis"

Pregnant women are smug
Everyone knows it, nobody says it
Because they're pregnant
This zen world you're enjoying
Makes you really annoying

Riki: So, is it a boy or girl?
Kate: Oh, we know, but we're not telling.
Riki: What you're gonna name it?
Kate: Oh, we know, but we're not telling.
Riki: Who's the father?
Kate: Oh, we know, but we're not telling.

Bitch, I don't really care
I was being polite
Since you have no life now
That you're pregnant

You say you're walking on air
You think that you're glowing
But you've been ho'ing
And now you're pregnant

You're just giving birth now
You're not Mother Earth now

Riki: Oh my gosh, I've got so much going on. I got my novel published, I moved, I got married.
Kate: Gosh, you know, everything seems so trivial now that I'm pregnant.
Riki: Well, I also helped end gang violence in Mexico when...
Kate: You know, I can't even remember what I did before I was pregnant. Everything else seems so meaningless.

Pregnant women are smug
Everyone knows it, nobody says it
Because they're pregnant
Effing son of a gun
You think you're so deep now, you give me the creeps now
Now that you're pregnant

Pardon my fury...

Here is the next craft project I'm dreaming of making. "A spear?" you ask? "But whatever for? Fishing? Hunting wild boar?"

No.
Not hardly.
This is for something much more dangerous and pervasive.

Bicyclists.

"But Heather!" you say, "Bicycling is so green, hug the Earth, kum by ya!"

No. I am done with bikers. Especially freshmen U of MN bikers. Particularly the ones who ride on the sidewalks (over and past the "NO BIKES ON SIDEWALKS" signs), think they are above traffic rules, and are listening to iPods or - AND THIS IS NO JOKE, THIS I JUST SAW ON MY LUNCH BREAK:

Texting while bicycling.

Are you BLEEPING kidding me?!?!?!?!

So, how will I cure all of these ills with a spear? Simple, and you can certainly play too.

Make it a strong spear, not necessarily sharp, but strong and long enough to displace the energy so you can hold it tightly and jam it between the spokes of an offending bicyclist as they attempt to run you down on the sidewalk. Hold tight. Wait for bike to flip. Shake an angry fist at the downed cyclist and shame them for their nasty behavior.

If we all did it, we could start a revolution.

My husband thought this was initially harsh, but I think it's karma. Natural selection. JUSTICE.

Or, conversely, I suppose bicyclists could just start following the rules our society has agreed upon for said activity, following traffic rules and leaving the sidewalk to pedestrians, and maybe even putting down the iPod and cell phone so they can see/hear/react to the world around them. A novel idea, I know, but it just could be wonderful...

My Not So Sweet Cinnamon Roll Fiasco - Thanks, Norm...

I really love these two bite cinnamon rolls from Costco. When I left this evening, this box was about 1/3 full, pushed to the back of the counter next to the stove.

When I got home, it was was on the floor in the living room.
Empty.

I guess Norm had a snack.

We always knew our dog wasn't normal. Most of the time we can laugh off his quirks - call him "The Woody Allen of Dogs" and be more careful about where we leave food, plastic bags, or kleenex (he likes to destroy all three).

But I really hate it when he gets hold of large quantities of food. While this is the first time it's happened with cinnamon rolls, every few months he manages to grab a loaf of bread off of a counter, and the process is relatively the same.

But Norm doesn't just EAT the bread, or cinnamon rolls, or bagels, or apples. That would be much too simple. Instead, he destroys the packaging (he particularly loves shredding plastic bags) and then proceeds to stash pieces of the food all over the house.


ALL OVER THE HOUSE.

Did you catch what I said there? Like an alcoholic in denial, he hides secret stores of said stolen food anywhere he can think of.

Like under the pillows on the couch.

And my new chairs.


In laundry baskets, preferably full of clean clothes.

And in his bed.
(He also decided to unstuff a pillow, which is where the white fiberfill came from. Thanks dog).

And in MY BED.



!@#$ and double %^&*!

So when I rolled into the house late this evening ready to crash, that couldn't really happen till I went on a treasure hunt for hidden sugar bombs, changed all the blankets, sheets, and pillow cases, and vacuumed all the furniture. ARGGGGGGH!!!

I have about 8 loads of laundry to do tomorrow now, on top of scrubbing sticky cinnamon & sugar paste off of all the furniture and thoroughly vacuuming every nook and cranny.

Not exactly the projects I had planned, but I suppose the house was due for a good cleaning...

Now I just have to wait and see if my dog goes into insulin shock or a diabetic coma...

Bachlorette Bags

Okay, here are the "goodies" inside the bags I previewed earlier this week! I went pretty simple but wanted something festive for everyone to take with them. I was disappointed with the selection of "bachelorette goodies" at my local party stores and even the "adult store" I went to - they wanted $2-3 for a little weenie sucker, and over $6 for a little single serving bag of ding-dong shaped runts! No way! There were a few interesting things I found online, but by the time you added in shipping it wasn't worth it for things most people would just toss out. But I think I came up with a pretty good selection, here's what I filled each bag with:

-The infamous peanut butter cocks (chocolate & peanut butter candy suckers in a very realistic penile shape)

-Mini water bottle & individually packaged dose of Tylenol, to ward of any "party injuries"

-Blow up microphone - since we're going to a dueling piano bar, they do comedy and encourage singing along - might as well rock it all the way out! I think if nothing else they will be fun for photos.

-Ring sucker - so everyone can bling like the bride-to-be

-Cocktail umbrella bendy straw (a little umbrella makes everything more glamorous)

-Blow out noisemaker with a cartoon penis print

Each guest will also get a teal feather boa to tie the group together and glam us up :)More about those later.

Does it look like a party? Whoo hoo!

Bachelorette Bingo

For my sister's bachelorette party the hostess asked me for any entertainment ideas I had, and I volunteered to come up with a game for the evening. I personally cannot stomach the "suck for a buck" type of games where the bachelorette encourages strangers to make sexual advances in return for money, or the variations of this "game" - and I KNOW she'd be pretty uncomfortable with them as well, but I also didn't want something completely vanilla and boring.

So I came up with Bachelorette Bingo, where everyone gets to participate (if they want to - nobody is forced) rather than just the bride, and everyone gets to choose their own level of participation rather than being "dared" or surprised with uncomfortable requests.

The idea was rather simple...but putting the cards together was surprisingly difficult! I kept finding sites that were SELLING lists of bachelorette dares, but few that had them for free, and of those, there were even fewer that I would ever consider doing (Sorry, as a married woman I just would never feel comfortable asking a guy for his man panties, money, or any physical contact. Who does this stuff?!?!?)

I went round and round looking for an acronym, and finally came up with "DIRTY!", that fit my theme and the categories worked out. Each column was a theme:

D= Drink, a list of alcoholic beverages and shots with graphic sexual names - no, I didn't invent these drinks, so don't blame me for the names (MOM!). You can find them on many Internet sites and in a lot of newer bartending books, I picked them up here.

I= Info, sort of like the "truth" category in Truth or Dare, where you share things about your own life & experiences.

R= Risque, as luck had it this was the shortest column (I put in the traditional free space), and that was great because it was the hardest for me to come up with ideas for. My problem is that I myself am not very risque, but didn't want to come across as completely boring, so some of these are even out of my comfort zone, but guess what? That's okay! You don't have to do any of them, and you can still win the game without doing anything from that category. I refused to put on anything illegal or dangerous or explicitly sexually harassing (you wouldn't believe how many of the pre-packaged games think its a good idea to dare people to grab/brush/fondle or otherwise inappropriately violate strangers! If these were males on females, I doubt it would be laughed off in the same way).

T= Talent, and I tried to mix these up. Singing, dancing, telling jokes, etc. I avoided acrobatics and anything that would piss off the waiters and waitresses too much (having been one for so long, I empathize when some idiot thinks its funny to dance on the bar).

Y= YF2B, do you get it? I had to resort to txtspeak, or license plate language for you older readers. Did you sound it out? WIFE - TO - BE! This category is all about celebrating the bride.

I made my bingo cards in powerpoint and sized them to fit 4" X 3" plastic badge holders, like the kind used at conventions. I picked up a couple packs of 10 @ Staples for around $4, and attached gold mardi gras beads I had on hand to be the neck straps. I did this with a few inches of gold foil ribbon, tied in a knot and then curled. This way people could keep them on and play throughout the night hands free, wouldn't lose them from bar to bar, and they were slightly waterproofed in the holders. I got small star stickers to mark the completed tasks - the bride was in charge of verifying all bingos. I also created a recipe card of all the dirty drink recipes so that confused bartenders had a resource if they hadn't heard of one before, and I tucked that in each pouch behind the bingo card. The final product was the picture at the top of this post.

I wasn't scientific in my randomizing of the tasks within the squares, but I did make sure each card was a little different. Here is one page of them (there were 3 pages for a total of 18 different cards, each page had slightly different tasks and within each page the tasks were in different squares).


The prizes for a bingo were the chocolate & peanut butter penis pops from my earlier post, and quite a few people went for them right away - it ended up being a fun ice breaker. We were also lucky to have a gorgeous night and patio seating, so good times all around.

***UPDATE: Bachelorette Bingo cards available now in my etsy shop! Click here.
reactivated May 2012

I promised more bachelorette crafts - so watch out!

Here is the 2nd (and most graphic - I warned you!) installment of my bachelorette treats, penis pops!
(once again, my mother is cringing...but these were a huge hit!)
They were awarded as prizes for the "bachelorette bingo" game, and were made much the same way as the cupcake toppers I already described.

First, I melted the peanut butter candy melts and piped each cavity about 1/3 full. I carefully spread the peanut butter so that it covered the whole mold with the "fleshy" color - as shown on the right side of this picture.

I let that start to set up, and then melted chocolate wafers in the same fashion. I filled the cavities the rest of the way full and then set in the paper sucker sticks. I rolled the sticks slowly to be sure they were entirely covered in chocolate, and then popped the molds in the fridge to chill - looking like the left side of this photo.

The mold was quite "detailed" and I think the end result is pretty shocking - but perfect for a bachelorette party! If you really wanted to get fancy, you could add even more detail by painting with a clean brush dipped in melted colored chocolate, add toasted coconut "hair", or go the other route completely and try a rainbow of less realistic colors.



The chocolate & peanut butter combo was actually pretty tasty, and I did a few just plain chocolate as well. I'm not a huge fan of the vanilla candy melts - I think they taste like vanilla frosting which is fine for a bite, but absolutely not a whole candy sucker - but you could use the same layering technique I did above to add in a more flavorful candy - I've seen cherry, chocolate, and mint candy melts, or even crispie puffed rice would be good.

I'd say these were a big hit, and a pretty easy/cheap bachelorette party favor or prize.

Next bachelorette party in a month, so stay tuned!

Hey mom, these are just, um, rockets?

I know my mother reads this blog, generally in the wee hours of the morning. She was already scandalized at the half naked mermaids from my Coney Island trip, so I can only imagine what this is going to do to her. Sorry mom. But I couldn't deny the creative public this fun bachelorette project.

And seriously folks, how cute are these?!?!? Bachelorette party #1 is this weekend, and I volunteered to bring a couple dozen cupcakes. I baked my traditional extra moist dark chocolate cupcakes in fuscia foil cups. I frosted half in vanilla (my favorite combo) and the other half in fudge, and topped each with one of these tiny peanut butter peckers. I actually think they look pretty adorable.

And, the giving person I am, I'm going to tell you how to make these little darlings at home!

First, the molds - I got mine in the "adult" drawer at Lynn's Cake & Candy Supply in Spring Lake Park. They have strange hours but are one of the best resources for cake & candy supplies in the metro area. They just have one little drawer under the candy molds that says "adult" and it's rather hilarious to dig through. These were around $3.50, and I got 2 - one thing about candy molding, the more molds you have, the more you can do at once which sounds basic, but every time you need to wash, dry, and re-melt candy for another batch, it takes wayyyyy longer than just doing a bunch at once - well worth a few bucks more.

Second, the candy. I looked around at a lot of options, and had intended on coloring my own "flesh" candy, but when I was digging around at Michael's I came across peanut butter candy melts - PERFECT! Candy melts are the easiest for these types of molds, you can control the portion you melt, they melt quickly and in the microwave, and come in many colors. Buying the right color saves a ton of time and mess over self-coloring.


I put 1/3 of a bag of candy melts or so into a disposable pastry bag and melted them in the microwave. Melt them in short bursts of 30 seconds or less, and massage the bag in between to keep the temperature even. Snip the tip of the bag and pipe the melted mixture into the molds. Do not overfill.

Once all the cavities are filled, lightly tap the mold on the counter for 10 - 20 seconds as the mixture spreads throughout the mold and the air bubbles rise to the surface and pop.


Place the molds in the fridge for a short time until hard (I find this happens in less than 15 minutes). Carefully remove candies from mold.



Voila! Naughty pastries for a ladies' night out!

I have more bachelorette-related posts to come, but I don't want to ruin all the surprises right now, so I'll put them up later on :)