Martha saves Valentine's Day?

Dove Promises are sort of like fortune cookies only chocolate. I prefer the dark chocolate, though the caramel filled is also worth selling a kidney. For Valentine's Day they're heart shaped, and each has a foil wrapper with a fortune or tip (a.k.a. "promise") printed on the inside. For example, here's one found on the web:



Not a terrible idea, right? Sort of like how Snapple has the little trivia under their caps, and Laffy Taffy has bad puns. I can get on board. And I'm pretty forgiving with a mouth full of chocolate. But apparently to further celebrate V-Day, Dove got Martha Stewart to pen all of the "promises" this season.

And they're ridiculous.

Martha, I love you, but your projects do not transfer into a 10 word epitaph.

"Replace tea bag tags with red paper hearts."
Now, my husband loves tea, but I can't see him caring whatsoever were I to adorn his morning spot with red paper hearts. In fact, he probably wouldn't even notice.

"Gift wrap a chocolate bar with pink craft paper and doilies."
Please see above commentary regarding the effectiveness of paper embellishments.

"Glue silk petals on a jar to create a vase."
Now I'm crafty, but I just can't envision this looking good, at least not without some visual direction. Sorry Martha, but this is like MacGuyver saying you can make a bomb out of a pencil, dental floss, and a remote control. It might be possible, but it's not exactly intuitive.

"X and O cookie cutters make hugs and kisses sugar cookies."
So does Cub Foods, and then I don't have to do the dishes. Bazinga! Actually I think this could be cute, but it's a little "Captain Obvious", isn't it? Well, that trend continues...

"Keeping a bouquet in a cool area will help the flowers last."
Uh...duh? And this isn't even the worst, I swear I had one that said to keep chocolate out of the sun. Seriously. I should have saved it for you all.

I've eaten most of the bag, and I can tell you that the only remotely cute idea I've found is this:
"Hide love notes underneath each chocolate in a sampler."

Of course, I just ate a bag of chocolate to discover this idea, so I'm not super keen on starting over. Plus, it is t a little weird to open someone's gift and handle all their candy? That sort of messes up the fancy packaging that probably accounts for most of the product price. I think I'll suffice with our fancy dinner this year. But let me know if you try the petal vase or doily wrapping.

Or, come visit me at the Champlin Park Women of Today Craft Fair, and buy your lover a beautiful hand cut glass mosaic photo frame or mirror! I have some new heart shaped frames just for the occasion :) Directions in the sidebar at upper right!