Thursday, August 19, 2010

More Midway Shenanigans...

Exciting things always happen when I do errands in Midway. Today I ran to Target on my lunch break to purchase some important last minute supplies for a wedding this weekend - fake eyelashes and a gigantic strapless bra (not a lot of options in my rapidly increasing size range, how do you busty ladies do it?). While waiting for the world's slowest cashier to ring up 7000 school supplies for the family in front of me, I absent mindedly rubbed my stomach.

I can't help it. It's unconscious. It's like when people get their tongue pierced and rub it on their teeth all the time, or how a newly engaged woman twirls her ring nonstop. To the rest of the world it looks like you are showing off and drawing attention, but really it's completely out of your control - something new is there where something isn't normally, and you just have to touch it. So if you're reading this and humming "Pregnant Women Are Smug," that's fine for a million other reasons, but not because of the belly rubbing. I imagine people do it with breast implants too (I probably would).

When it was finally my turn, cashier asks "How are you feeling?"

A slight departure from the usual "How are you" nicety, but okay...

"Fine, thanks." (Wow, I gave her a thanks. I must have been feeling charitable!)

"Well, you were rubbing your stomach..."

(uh, sorry? WTF?) "Oh, I'm pregnant, so it's just hanging out there..." (why am I explaining?)

"Yeah, I know - I just ask because I've had one person go into labor in my lane."

Once again, Target Midway is never a dull excursion. And possibly a good place to jumpstart labor. Will keep in mind.

I'm off to a super exciting weekend wedding, where I will cross #101 off my bucket list and catch up with some amazing friends from high school. I may bring my "WebConnect Rocket" but no promises, since this lumpy lady crashes about 8pm on a normal night.


Carin said...

dude! did you get ordained?
that's awesome!

also awesome that you were buying false eyelashes. someday can I get a tutorial in how to put on? (like before GaGa?)

Brooke said...

For the bra thing, all I can say is order online. And get used to having ugly undies.