Saturday, April 17, 2010

It's MY Life...

Along the same train of thought as yesterday's post...I'm inspired to add to my 2010 (and beyond) resolutions:

Create and pursue happiness actively

Sounds like a no-brainer, but it's really something I need to change about my priorities: to put myself first and enjoy as much of my life as possible.
(and lose or quell or at least demote the strange sense of duty I have to make others happy first.)I started in this direction when I created my bucket list and made an effort to check things off - made it a priority. But I'm still not there on a daily basis.

This is no way means I'm going to become a raging b!@#$ (not any more than already accomplished, anyways), as I still believe strongly in not infringing on the enjoyment of others (thus my complete rage at most drivers and large crowds - seriously people, behavior check). But I do think I feel an abundance of pressure (largely from myself) to make "everyone else" happy, or not let "others" down, when really the impact is likely to be negligible. I don't even really know who "everyone else" or the "others" are when I carefully examine the idea. This is not just a problem for people who are doormats or mistreated - I have perfectly stable self confidence, but I too often "settle" for things to avoid making waves or make someone else happy.

Case in point: I remember clearly eating a meal at my grandmother's house. Not sure what it was, because I always ate what I was told as a child. My cousin who was also there pitched a fit and refused to partake. I remember being aghast and confused "you can refuse? This is an option?"

Free will, interesting concept.

I'm not going to be impolite. And I'm not going to eat a diet of Twinkies and Yoohoo either. But I am going to surround myself with as much happiness as I can, and remove things that don't bring joy to my day. How many areas of life can this apply to? diet...exercise...reading material...wardrobe..."friends"...spending...There are so many areas in life we muddy down to do what is "expected"...but whose expectations are they?

In related news: look for new (daily?) feature of random stuff that brought me joy.

"Cuz I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
It's my life."

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