D'oh!

After all the hullabaloo I went through to get a new charger for my old and decrepit phone, I'm pretty sure I left it at the hotel this weekend. D'oh. I'd blame pregnancy brain, but I tend to do stuff like this a LOT. I've "lost" my checkcard under the seats in my car about twice a week, and before I started clipping my keys on my purse with a caribeaner, I probably spent at least 30 mins a day searching for them.

Also, I sucked at taking photos this weekend. Oops.

The day (after) the music died...

I'm so disappointed, last night I ran into a store before "book club" and quickly hid my ipod and adaptor - but when I pulled the adaptor out, I broke it :( Boo!

The oval "head" had come apart from the cigarette lighter "stem", which wouldn't have been a problem to reattach but the wires running between the two parts had snapped when I pulled. Boo again!

I was really happy with this little sucker, and will probably try to replace it when my finances improve, but for now it's just a mega bummer.

Retiring from the craft fair circuit...

I think I'm retiring the mosaics. It was fun for a while, but they are so fragile and labor intensive, not to mention semi-dangerous. I'm ready for my fingertips to heal, to vacuum up the glass shards, and move on. I am clearly the kiss of death for craft fairs I attend, and that fact was driven home astoundingly with last weekend's Champlin Women of Today craft fair. Total BOMB.

I had high hopes - this group has a history of highly promoted, well attended shows. They're big - 150 crafters, a whole high school gym. But clearly, the tide has turned on craft fairs.

In the week before I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to throw together a bunch more mosaics. I finally got the right grout again (white, sanded), and since the show was just before Valentine's Day, I thought I'd focus on heart shaped photo frames:



These all came out really cute, I especially love the rainbow one. This is just after grouting, so they weren't polished up yet - I was very happy with the end product.

I was not happy when I stabbed myself with a scissors during the whole process, but that's another story.



So I finished all these guys up, wrapped each one in bubble wrap, hauled everything out to my car (2 tables, 1 chair, 2 giant art stands, tablecloths, signage, extra bubble wrap, all the mosaics including 3 giant wall mirrors...)Then I arrived at the school and hauled it all inside...

And it was all for naught.

My booth looked really nice, though I was pretty exhausted by the time I got it all up. My previous craft fair experience with aprons was so much easier - they're not fragile, they require little care other than some sort of folding, and they're much lighter than mosaics. Setting up these suckers requires muscle. The show had a lot of helpers, came around with a coffee cart, and I had a nice wall space so nobody behind me would knock my stuff over - so far so good.



Then I started to look around. And to get nervous. First bad omen: non-craft booths. Lots of them. Someone selling "the best pillow you'll ever own," a bunch of food mixes (probably Tastefully Simple), a chiropractor, TWO salsa vendors...uh oh. The line between craft fair and crap fair is so thin already, I'm hesitant to waste any time with shows that are all home party plan vendors.

To my right was a custom t-shirt booth, some of their designs were cheesy (a lot of puns and grandma-esque stuff) but a few were fun (sparkly - yes, I am a Bingo Queen at heart) and they made them right on the spot with a giant heat press. That was kind of cool - definitely a toy I briefly thought about acquiring.

On the other side of me was a very chatty grandmother selling..."a little of everything" was how she described it. Her words are nicer than mine.

I was across from a guy selling soaps, behind him was someone selling fabric purses that were cute but too small for my purposes, and the rest of the show was 50 people selling dish towels. Okay, maybe not 50, but I swear there were a ton of towels.

And no customers.

Seriously, no customers. Fewer than 100 people through the doors, in my guesstimation. There were a few sales (I saw those darn pillows in a lot of hands), but I'm not sure anybody made their booth fee back. Most of the people I heard from (including myself) didn't have a single sale the entire day. It was bad enough that people started packing up early, and the show organizers even pulled the plug and "released" us an hour ahead of schedule. Clearly it was a total disappointment for all involved.

For a split second I considered just leaving the whole display there.

Then I packed it all up again and headed home. I still haven't had the energy to unpack the car and get it all back into the house, so I'm driving around with a car
packed full of strange things. The whole thing had taken a definite turn for the DEPRESSING, so it's a good time to stop. I still like making them (though I don't love grouting) so it might stay a hobby - and I don't think my products were at all bad, I just had a knack for picking poor shows. Oh well.

Moving on!

Martha saves Valentine's Day?

Dove Promises are sort of like fortune cookies only chocolate. I prefer the dark chocolate, though the caramel filled is also worth selling a kidney. For Valentine's Day they're heart shaped, and each has a foil wrapper with a fortune or tip (a.k.a. "promise") printed on the inside. For example, here's one found on the web:



Not a terrible idea, right? Sort of like how Snapple has the little trivia under their caps, and Laffy Taffy has bad puns. I can get on board. And I'm pretty forgiving with a mouth full of chocolate. But apparently to further celebrate V-Day, Dove got Martha Stewart to pen all of the "promises" this season.

And they're ridiculous.

Martha, I love you, but your projects do not transfer into a 10 word epitaph.

"Replace tea bag tags with red paper hearts."
Now, my husband loves tea, but I can't see him caring whatsoever were I to adorn his morning spot with red paper hearts. In fact, he probably wouldn't even notice.

"Gift wrap a chocolate bar with pink craft paper and doilies."
Please see above commentary regarding the effectiveness of paper embellishments.

"Glue silk petals on a jar to create a vase."
Now I'm crafty, but I just can't envision this looking good, at least not without some visual direction. Sorry Martha, but this is like MacGuyver saying you can make a bomb out of a pencil, dental floss, and a remote control. It might be possible, but it's not exactly intuitive.

"X and O cookie cutters make hugs and kisses sugar cookies."
So does Cub Foods, and then I don't have to do the dishes. Bazinga! Actually I think this could be cute, but it's a little "Captain Obvious", isn't it? Well, that trend continues...

"Keeping a bouquet in a cool area will help the flowers last."
Uh...duh? And this isn't even the worst, I swear I had one that said to keep chocolate out of the sun. Seriously. I should have saved it for you all.

I've eaten most of the bag, and I can tell you that the only remotely cute idea I've found is this:
"Hide love notes underneath each chocolate in a sampler."

Of course, I just ate a bag of chocolate to discover this idea, so I'm not super keen on starting over. Plus, it is t a little weird to open someone's gift and handle all their candy? That sort of messes up the fancy packaging that probably accounts for most of the product price. I think I'll suffice with our fancy dinner this year. But let me know if you try the petal vase or doily wrapping.

Or, come visit me at the Champlin Park Women of Today Craft Fair, and buy your lover a beautiful hand cut glass mosaic photo frame or mirror! I have some new heart shaped frames just for the occasion :) Directions in the sidebar at upper right!

I'm kind of in a bad mood...

This lack of internet thing has been harder on me than I thought. I'm surviving, but I've clearly missed the mark on blogging. The problem is that I haven't been using my home computer much since it's not live, which also means I haven't been uploading photos and then transferring them to the work computer for actual bloggage...

Translation: BlogFAIL. I've become what I despise: spotty blogger. Drat.

Oh well.

And in other news, I shoveled for 2 hours yesterday and I'm not sure if my arms have separated from my shoulders because I'm alternately pained and numb from all the heavy lifting. After said shovelling, all additional plans/chores for the evening were completely ignored as I lay in bed bemoaning my sorry state and drinking various malt beverages. Therefore this morning I have forgotten to mail my house payment for the 3rd day in a row, and possibly won't have the present I promised Ryan in the mail to Timbuktu in time for his V-Day party. Double suck. I'm just mad at myself all over.

And have I mentioned I did our taxes and we owe Uncle Sam around $2,000?

Start clicking on these ads people, or we'll be featuring homeless crafts next.

Super Market Madness:

Does qualification for the "15 items or less" line go on # of items, or # of different products? Lady ahead of me last night had about 20 yogurts, and 13 other products. Each yogurt has to be scanned separately. I cry foul.

Stuff that has gone down while I've been not posting...

I apologize heartily, dear Internet. And now for something completely different...POSTS!

1. I sold all of the painted letters from the Wonderland party. First went the big Marquee, then I just recently shipped off the Cheshire Cat and Mad Tea sayings. I had listed them very low, mostly I just wanted to find them all a good home and possibly kick back a little money into the pot for next year.



I used USPS Flat Rate boxes, thinking they were $8.95, like they were the last time I shipped something. THEY ARE NOT. THEY ARE SIGNIFICANTLY MORE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

I was fairly perturbed to find out that AFTER the boxes were packed, addressed, and on the postal counter, they were actually around $15 EACH to ship. Craptacular. There goes any possible thought of starting the 2010 Halloween fund, I was lucky to break even. Post Office, I shake an angry fist at you.


2. I had our DiGiorno party, and it was fine. It's weird for me to have low key gatherings, I don't know "how." I always feel inadequate without goodie bags and decorations, but I'm working on it.

The pizza was good. I'll admit when I buy frozen pizza it's generally the $0.99 Party Pizzas or maybe a $2 Tony's, so this was quite a treat to get six $7+ pizzas. I got all rising crust varieties, and my favorite was the plain old pepperoni.


(This is not my photo...I have been as woefully inadequate at uploading pics as I have been at blogging...but according to flickr, this is a DiGiorno pepperoni pizza. It looks pretty much the same as ours did.)

The "Ultimate Supreme" (really? two dramatic adjectives? necessary?) was so heavy it started to fall between the wires in the oven rack while cooking, that was kind of weird. The same thing happened with the three meat, so I guess it's good to watch them or you'll lose a lot of toppings (bad) and have to clean your oven (worse). The cheese stuffed crust was just okay - not a lot of flavor, and once it cooled the cheese really shrank. Probably not worth it. I'd have the pepperoni again, or the spicy chicken, and I'd like to try the garlic bread versions. I also have a bunch of $4 off coupons I forgot to give out. Let me know if you want one.

Football was watched, crafts were made. Crafts which cannot yet be shared due to their gift-like nature, and me not wanting to ruin the surprise just yet (ooh, intrigue!). Perhaps I shall share in mid February instead. Though that is not a promise, as I am apparently untrustworthy when it comes to posting. *Hangs head in shame*

3. We officially cut the cord with Qwest, and I just survived my first 24 hours without Internet.



I felt an odd calm and lack of purpose without my computer on my lap last night, and I had a pile of messages to wade through today, but I'm still alive. I'll have to take it day by day :)

4. I was an hour late to work one morning because I started watching last week's Project Runway and couldn't tear myself away.



My commentary is this: Ping, WTF? It's getting old that they keep a weirdo around each season who is "inventive" and "modern," which are code for "crazy" and "unsellable." Let's get real.

Blog FAIL

I know, I'm working on it. :) I'm not dead, just busy. I promise posts soon...

5 More sites I have recently wasted significant time on:

totallylookslike.com - a few of these made me laugh out loud, which is not good when you are feigning work.

STFUParents.tumblr.com - a nice site if you appreciated "Pregnant Women are Smug." This is what smug pregnant women turn into after birth. I've seen so many of these people, I really should start submitting.

UgliestTattoos.com - See mom, I could have done so much worse.

awkwardfamilyphotos.com - I have resisted posting some of the gems from my childhood specifically because I fear ending up on this site.

ApostropheAbuse.com - this one is a GREAT idea, but needs a little help in the execution. They don't post regularly, but I continue to support it as a community service - apostrophe education is clearly lacking in our country.

Possibly the cutest birthday present ever...

Here's one more of the adorable b-day gifts I received at the epic 3-0 surprise. It's from my uber-creative cousin Holly, who we should all convince to create a blog of her own, since she actually gets projects done (unlike me lately). Her gift was so creative, both inside and OUT!



With the re-usable printed box, thick pink bow, and adorable ceramic gift tag, it was almost too pretty to open. Inside was a a fabulous Glitterville (Dept. 56) gift card holder, filled with a Visa gift card! Yay fun! Also, a beautiful blown glass cupcake ornament - how great will that look on my sweets tree next year?

Then there was also a "cup-a-cake" cupcake holder that I am so excited to try! They are single serving containers supposed to keep a decorated cupcake somewhat undestroyed in transit, i.e. for you to take to lunch:



You know I'll have to run a test and tell you how it performs. Speaking of cupcake disasters, this is hardly related, but worth passing along - at the memorial last weekend it was so warm, all of the cream cheese frosting slid off my otherwise adorable mini cupcakes:



I had little dessert platters on each table, hoping that would encourage people to munch as they were sitting. The chocolate frosting actually held up just fine, so I'll have to remember in the future that cream cheese frosting is not suited for warm temps or sitting out very long. Especially at a slight angle :)

First Bucketlist Accomplishment of 2010!

Saturday, January 2nd seemed like a good time to kick of the 2010 bucketlist pursuit by crossing off item #124: Go to a Roller Derby Bout

CHECK!



What an adventure! It started when I met up with a few friends at O'Gara's (big mistake) intending to grab a drink and a few appetizers, and then take their free shuttle to the Roy. Bad idea. O'Gara's gets two giant thumbs down. Way down. We got there around 5:15 and didn't get our first drink for at least 15 minutes. At that point, the tables weren't even all full. We ordered our apps - and I am not exaggerating here, I actually timed this - it took OVER 50 MINUTES for a couple of quesadillas and two baskets of fried junk. How does that happen!?!?! And throughout, our waitress was surly and unresponsive. I had ordered a cherry coke and ended up walking it up to the bar to get refills when she avoided our table. Beers sat empty, and she missed major sales. When I questioned the time on our apps, she mumbled something about "the kitchen is slammed" and disappeared again. After all of my years as a server I'm almost always a 20% + tipper, but man, I think she got about 5%at best and was lucky we didn't walk out. I was MAD. We ended up racing through out food to catch the last shuttle, and getting there well after we had planned. Not cool. O'Garas = FAIL

We BARELY made the shuttle and ended up squished 3 to a seat, but at least that was warm! (this is me trying to be positive). Finally, we got to "The Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium!"



I have to include that a couple of years ago, for about 2 weeks, I seriously considered becoming a Minnesota Rollergirl. I bought skates & pads, acquired a helmet, and started skating for the first time since elementary school. Then I realized I am a monumental wimp, and even the idea of ruffle butt panties and fun fishnets could not make it worthwhile for me to exercise that much. Better to admire from afar :)



These girls are serious athletes, and they will hurt you. And like it. And then drink a Pabst and knit some mittens for charity.



We missed the pre-show music, but made it in time for the explanation of the rules...which we "sorta" grasped. Cheer for the starred helmets to make it through the pack, whilst they get chucked by the rest of the girls. The striped helmets do something about pace.



And then they were off! Garda Belts (green) had a bagpipe introduction, Dagger Dolls (pink) wore tu-tus. But that is where the niceties ended. There was some serious body checking, a few pile ups, and a lot of nail biting.



The place was actually really full! We were in the upper/General admission area in the balcony, and all the "track side" seating was sold out. They were told "Remember, if a rollergirl falls in your lap, you don't get to take her home!"



Above are actually the GUYS, who just started their own league. You know how at NHL games they let peewee kids play hockey in between the periods? I felt like this was similar. The guys kicked it off and helped explain rules. I'd be interesting to see if they are as viscious as the ladies in a bout.



Polka party on the track at intermission with "The Bratwurst Brothers!" Also involved the longest conga line I've ever seen.



Carin was really excited about "The Ricola Horn!" We sang along and downed our Pabst Tall Boys. How hip am I?



All-in-all it was a pretty fun ride, I sorta understood the rules by the end, though I'm still lost on penalties. I got to try out my "paparazzi" lens for the first time - everything is a little blurry because I was working with low light & action, sort of a difficult combination for a newbie, but I think I got some fun shots. And now I really want to go skating again :)

Cookie Fail

Last year I crossed off bucket list item #36 , be part of a cookie exchange for the holidays. I accomplished it by starting my own group exchange with a combination of family and friends, and it was a big hit! So this year I'm doing it again by popular demand - and with even more participants. The exchange is Wednesday, so I've been grocery shopping twice and spent this evening trying out my recipes.

It was huge disaster.

It started out easy enough, I (thought) I had all my ingredients, my recipes, my tools...


Recipe #1: Apricot Creams.

First I did the classic baking powder/baking soda mix up. Had to scoop it out and start over, while hubby ran to the store for the other. D'oh.

Then I didn't do a very good job making my "rounded teaspoon" sized balls - the recipe that was supposed to make 6 dozen cookies only made about 3.

And then 1/2 of those burned, four minutes before they were even supposed to be done, as I hadn't realized the racks were moved so low in the oven (Thanksgiving). Double d'oh.



That was all the first recipe. The 2nd recipe - soft lemonade cookies went slightly better. I kept the soda/powder straight, and fixed the racks in the oven, but still made the drop cookies too big so they're not that pretty. But they do taste pretty good.



I think I'll take a tip from my mother and try to find some small ice cream scoops tomorrow, and use them to make more perfect and consistent batter drops. Something like this from Target would be good:


So for tonight I've thrown in the towel - I'm still eating the ugly cookies, but I want to be sure I make the prettiest most perfect ones for my exchange, so hopefully tomorrow will go better.

Double Grout Fail

Tonight I raced home, ripped open my new bag of grout and started mixing so I could finish up my mosaics before this weekend's craft fair (set up is tomorrow). Though I could have sworn I used "biscuit" color previously, it was obviously too brown to match my previous lot, and wouldn't give me the effect I needed with most of the ones I had left. I tried it out on a large mirror I did in shades of green - it turned out cool, but definitely not white (sort of a taupe instead). So that wasn't going to work. I clearly needed to make a grout run.

Problem: My dog has been QUITE upset with all of the recent chaos (hubby being gone around the clock, random relatives in and out) and he takes this out by shredding paper, plastic, and other easily shred-able things he finds around the house. I had just covered a buch of surfaces in plastic to do my grouting, so he had a lot of "fuel" to work with. This is quite annoying.

Another problem: my car is FULL of craft stuff for tomorrow - stuff I'd be quite annoyed were he to shred. Quandry.

Dog goes into car (quite happily, "CAR RIDE" is one of his favorite phrases). I hoped I could just stop at the little mom & pop hardware store, but they didn't have what I needed. And while I was in there, Norm dis-assembled a fast food bag full of wrappers he dug out from under the seat. Drat.

Off we go through rush hour traffic to Menards. Park - race - grab - run. Norm shredded nothing else while I was inside. Score.

Arrive home. Turn on lights. Realize that me, Norm, and the car are all covered in white powder. Bag has a hole. Drat.

Come in, mix grout, realize something is not right. Right color...wrong texture. There are multiple textures of this same brand and color? Drat.

Figure I'll try it anyways. Continue mixing. Slap it on. Very gooey. Read the label. "Avoid contact with skin." Drat.

So I probably took a few years off my life, but so far the two I did with the "nonsanded grout with polymer" (which should have been "sanded grout without polymer") look okay. The two I needed to patch won't end up getting done, since I'm not heading back out AGAIN and set up is tomorrow immediately after work. Oh well. Hopefully I'll do another show in the spring and finish them up before that. SIGH.

Living and Learning - and Looking Ahead

Just in case you were wondering, no, my craft fair yesterday didn't pick up in its final hours. In fact, people mostly packed up their wares early, which is a HUGE no-no in the craft community, but nobody even dared stop them. Tempers and frustrations were fairly high. I can't say I totally blame the promoters for the lack of traffic - it's bound to happen in a down economy, the Vikings were playing, it was a Sunday show...blah blah. And having put together a craft fair before myself, I know how nerve wracking it is to sit and wait for traffic after you have done all your promoting. Even the best efforts (not to say that these were the best) can go awry. C'est la vie.

So here are a few of my favorites that are STILL AVAILABLE of course :)






See all these and more in the slideshow I just set up as an application to another craft fair here.
Or, better yet, come see me at Roseville this weekend!

I'm really looking forward to this next holiday craft fair. First, it's a long standing show, with decent community support. The promoter and I worked together when I did the Women of Today Craft Fair on the same weekend as theirs (in the same community) a few years ago, we cross-promoted and shared the costs. I know she carefully screens her entries, only allows homemade crafts and maintains a good balance of vendors. AND she does smart stuff like having a local orchestra perform (bringing their parents to listen & shop then). So keep your fingers crossed! Or, better yet, come VISIT me :) My mom will be booth-sitting most of Saturday as I herd our little debaters through their final tournament, and then Sunday I'll be there all day. I'll have a few new pieces including 2 more jumbo ready-to-hang mirrors (about 18" x 24") that I'm grouting this week, hopefully displayed on my new stands which UPS supposedly delivered today!

Hope to see you this weekend in Roseville! Again, it's 10-4 Saturday AND 11-4 Sunday at Roseville City Hall, on County Road C between Snelling and Lexington.

Craft FLOP

I started the day with hopeful enthusiasm:



this was particularly notable as I had to wake up well before dawn, and after a night of painful restless heartburn (Ryan made me eat 3 lbs of cheese last night. It's a long story). So anyways, I found the Eagan Community Center, and got my booth set up quickly - and I kinda think it's cute too :)



I made my first sale!



I was really surprised at which one it was, not that it wasn't pretty, just not a very elaborate piece - forest green and mirror glass in a very random arrangement.

And that is where the good news ENDS.

Big frowny face here. :(

The show was a total flop. I'm extremely disappointed, not to mention far into the red. Boo, fail, hiss!

It wasn't that I in particular did poorly, it was just a bum show. Hardly any browsers, and even fewer shoppers. It was also a fairly weird show - a few red flags I could have taken more seriously:

*spelling errors on the promoter's website (there instead of their REPEATEDLY - seriously, who does that!?!?!)

*inconsistent listing of the times, booth sizes, and other show info

*lack of email from promoter, despite website saying they would send one with the set up info - my email inquiry went unanswered, and when I asked about it at check in I got a snotty answer that "emailing me would increase the show fees." Uh, WTF?

I think I've made an easy decision about further shows with this company. I never saw any advertising, and the show itself had no quality control. There are a million jewelry vendors, TWO Usborne vendors (such a no no to have the same exact COMPANY! EEK!), and a whole bunch of non-craft CRAP - seriously. We're talking home decor JUNK that people must have purchased really haphazardly and are re-selling like a flea market, along with a bunch of home party businesses and not one but TWO chiropractors. This is not a craft fair, this is a crap fair. I'm embarassed.

And I'm broke. At least I wasn't tempted to buy anyone else's crap :)

Here's hoping that Roseville will be better next weekend! That's a longstanding show in a great (close to my home) location, it's a fundraiser for the nature center, and it's strictly limited to ALL HOMEMADE CRAFTS. I'm really hopeful that it will be a much better show, and at least I don't have to struggle to comeup with more inventory!



I suppose something amazing could happen in my next hour and a half sitting here bored (thank goodness the hubby was kind enough to bring lunch & my laptop, or I'd be scratching my eyes out). But I'm not optimistic. Better luck next time I guess.

Fit to be tied...since I don't have my glue that will have to suffice...

I just got a note from Amazon:

Dear heathereve[...],

Today Denny And Kathys Ace Hardware shipped item(s) in your order, placed
on November 18, 2009.

==================================================
SHIPPING DETAILS
==================================================

The following items were sold by and shipped from Denny And Kathys Ace
Hardware in package 1 of this shipment:

1 of Frank T Ross & Sons #1395 Gallon Weldbond Adhesive

Shipping Carrier: speedee

Ship Date: November 24, 2009
Shipping Speed: Standard

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? IT JUST SHIPPED TODAY. I ORDERED IT A WEEK AGO. I NEED IT HERE, NOT JUST BEING SHIPPED! I AM SO !@#$ing MAD!

Mad enough I wrote a stupid mad email which they won't care about saying "Thanks a lot for screwing me over" with a few other choice phrases.

Don't you just hate the interwebs sometimes? GRRRR!

Now I'm pretty much in trouble for finishing my mosaic inventory by Sunday. Grumble Grumble.

Lost & Found

I found a set of keys outside my office yesterday, sort of lost in the bushes along the sidewalk. Of course I thought "Oh no, someone lost their keys, they shall be so happy I have found them" and scooped them up. I sent a message to our building's listserv, but nobody claimed them. I started to rethink my helpfulness. I called the University Police, who told me they wanted no part of it - they didn't keep such things as lost car keys, and I should turn them in to my building lost and found. Which does not exist. And inquiring about said lost and found only resulted in a defensive statement from the building manager about why we aren't REQUIRED to have one, and therefore won't. The building manager will begrudgingly pick them up and hold them in the basement for a week, then throw them out. Hmm. Somewhere someone is locked out of their Audi, home, and mailbox or padlock #151. I even went through two parking lots looking for an Audi, and didn't find one (interesting note: there are a TON of Toyotas at the U). But the moral of my story? Don't be helpful. Leave keys where you find them. Apparently all I've done is hide them from anyone who might have gone back searching. Live & learn!

Have you ever tried to help and just made the situation worse? Share your life lessons in my comments. To comment without signing in, choose "anonymous" - but please sign your submission :)

How Bizarre...

I've been looking around for a craft fair to fill the space I bowed out of this Saturday, and in my search I requested info on one being held at a local church. It came with a list of clarifications regarding what was and was not allowable (goofy in itself, but whatever), but that's not the part that had me rilling on the floor with laughter - this is too good not to post. Other than the XXX's I've put in to obscure the name, this is verbatim what I received:

Holiday Bizarre Guidelines
We at XXX Church are glad to host you and this Holiday Bizarre and hope we can make your day run smoothly and give you a true sense of feeling welcome. This being a church, however, we do have several guidelines that need to be followed.
-Nothing can be sold or depicted of a political nature
-Nothing can be sold or depicted of a religious nature including astrological symbols
-There can be no palm readers, psychics, or anyone of a similar nature represented
-Smoking, alcoholic beverages, and drugs are prohibited on the premises
-This is a family event and therefore nothing of an “adult” nature is allowed. Therefore any artwork containing nudity, adult language, anything of a sexual nature, or adult subject matter should not be displayed or sold.

Sincerely,
XXX Director of Worship Ministries

The best part is that the author wasn't even the one who sent it out - so this little note made it through at least two people without catching the MAJOR error in wording. Definitely sounds like a bizarre bazaar :)

I paint outside the lines...WAY outside...

So today I'm up and at 'em early, eager to rock one of my "new" sweaters, pick out a pretty one in shades of blue and green, wrap around a giant necklace, and leave the house.

Later, I discover this:



Oops.
That's my right leg. The left leg looks similar.

Remember that craft paint I used here and here and here? The stuff I assumed was washable? Guess not. Goodbye favorite khaki's, it's been real.

This doesn't bode well for the spots on my carpet & chair...and who knows what other clothing items...

Drat.

If you're just catching up over the weekend, don't forget to read about my mosaic mirror giveaway! Sign up this week!

Vendor Review: (Not So) Fun Jumps Entertainment

I should probably start with all the fun good amazing parts of the party, but I think I need to get this part off my chest first. So please bear with me, I'm pretty angry.

I just got off the phone with Fun Jumps Entertainment, where I rented the Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) Game from for the party, and boy am I steamed. I was lukewarm on them after the party experience, but wouldn't have outright rejected them until I just had a conversation with a total asshole - who happens to be the rental manager.

Here's the highlights -

The kid comes to deliver, and doesn't have a power cord. After much calling back to the mother ship and digging through boxes, he asks if I have an old computer cord, so I take time out to go dig through the attic and come up with it (miracle). Classy. Their response? "The kid offered to go to Best Buy and get one if you didn't have one." Uh, okay, so I guess that it's fine to take up my time like that on the day I'm clearly hosting a big event?

#2: The photo clearly shows the monitor is on a stand. This apparently does not exist. They set the TV ON THE FLOOR. How the F!@# would that work? Their (rental manager's) response when I complained? "We delivered it the next day to another family and those people weren't upset there wasn't a stand, they had a table."

WTF??? Uh, someone else didn't mind the half - complete set up, so I'M in the wrong? Logic has gone awry...

#3: The first foot pad wasn't working. The second one is visibly broken with a piece out of alignment. At my prodding, they switch out the non working one and fix the broken one. But apparently you have to ask special for that. I didn't even bring that up with the rental manager, seeing as our conversation was going so well...

#4: The glitches. If you were there, you saw it - I have 50 witnesses that the game kept locking up and flashing a "quick menu." Their response: "Last week we had someone rent a bounce house, and after they claimed the blower wasn't working. The neighbor happened to be a friend of ours and let us know the guy was lying just to get it for free."

Wow, awesome, call me a liar, that's super endearing.

and then "we have an on call tech person, our policy is to call immediately and they'll fix it."
Nice idea, but seriously, I'm supposed to stop my party, get on the phone, call these people, and wait for them to come out? I barely had time to EAT, let alone sit on a phone with tech support! They also told me that the angelic "people the next day" never complained about the machine. So that apparently re-enforces that I'm making it all up?

And the kicker: I paid a deposit months ago on my check card, then when they called to schedule the delivery I asked them to take the 2nd payment out of a different card - they said "no problem." Low and behold when I check my account yesterday, they've taken the $$ out of my check card and overdrawn my account. Fabulous. Their response: "I always tell my customers the 2nd payment is taken out the day before (uh, right, that's when I talked to your company and gave them the new card) and the person on the phone doesn't know what accounting does." Uh, how is that my problem that your right hand doesn't know what the left is doing?

They've assured me that they did void the charge and re-rang on the correct card, but we'll see. I was feeling mediocre about the company after the rental, but now after my little "chat" with the rental MANAGER, I'm livid. All he did was get defensive and rude and even after I asked SEVERAL times if he was going to listen to my experience, he still had to butt in and refute everything I said. Total customer service FAIL in my book. How hard would it have been to just shut up, listen, and apologize? Even if your policy isn't to refund or discount, that shouldn't prohibit you from BEING A NICE PERSON.

Okay, end rant - and I'll talk more about the game later - which was fun when it was working, and I was able to jury-rig the monitor on to a table so it could mostly be seen. And the rest of the party went great, and I have lots of recipes and anecdotes and decorating ideas to share. But suffice it to say I would NEVER recommend Fun Jumps Entertainment to anyone, and they will not be getting my business in the future.