Note to self (or universe)

I would like to be this kind of mom.

NOLA Costume Ideas: More True Blood - Supporting Characters

Alas, with last night's finale, we're going to be sans True Blood again until next summer, boo hoo! I'm not giving up any spoilers, but I do think it's a good time to revisit some Louisiana costume ideas inspired by True Blood - this time, let's look at some of the lesser known characters:

Pam is one of my favorite characters, but I'm not sure she'd be easily recognizable as she doesn't really have an exaggerated look. She's generally well dressed, alternating between smart suits and some campy vamp-wear at the bar, but then there's this gem:

Pam's Disco Night at Fantasia sequin jumpsuit:



My all time favorite True Blood costume, and it was only shown in passing on one episode. I'm guessing you could find a vintage pattern and recreate it if you were truly motivated.

Ginger, however, is the ESSENCE of a caricature (rather than just a character), and should be fairly easy to mock. She's a human waitress at Fangtasia and has been "Glamored" so often she's a few fries short of a Happy Meal. Just please, go easy on the screaming:



The key is the short bleach blond wig. Here's one a little long, but with good feathering. A blond bob wig should work too.



A vacant expression and any assortment of barely-there clothes should round out her look.

Fans of the Sookie Stackhouse NOVELS will definitely recognize "Bubba" - a character not (yet?) appearing in the HBO series, but would DEFINITELY be a perfect costume choice. See, Bubba is really this guy:



Who was turned into a vampire, but "something went wrong" so he's a little screwy too. This would be a super fun and easy costume - Elvis jumpsuit, wig, and fangs.

And finally, using the same basic Merotte's uniform discussed in the Sookie post and a long red wig (like this one with just a little styling) you could embody brassy waitress Arlene Fowler:



I briefly considered going this route as Arlene is pregnant this season (with a serial killer's demon baby) but since there is some ambiguity as to where the storyline is going, I've decided on another direction :)

I can't believe there is little more than a month until Halloween, where is the time going? I finally sat down and started on my invites this weekend, so hopefully I'll be able to keep up the momentum and really rock out all of my dreams and intentions. Between the time crunch, the exhaustion of pregnancy, and budgetary concerns, it should be quite an adventure to see how this all comes together this year!

Bucket List # 101: Officiate a Wedding

On Saturday, August 21, 2010 I checked another biggie off my bucket list - #101, officiate a wedding! I'm a little late in blogging on this, mostly because I didn't have any photos to go along with it (I thought bringing my camera up with me might get in the way), but now that the bride & groom are back from their honeymoon, I've been lucky enough to oooh and ahhh over the professional photos and write up the experience! Warning - this is a GORGEOUS wedding with a BEAUTIFUL bride, you may not be able to look away! But first, here's me in my formal role:



Do I look official enough? I am, indeed, a legally recognized wedding officiant in the states of Minnesota, New York, Wisconsin (with a note), and possibly Iowa, I keep forgetting to check. I became ordained shortly after my own wedding, where the brilliant officiant FORGOT TO FILE THE MARRIAGE LICENSE (legally required within 5 days) until I finally got ahold of him a month later and he recalled it was "in his truck" and he'd been "meaning to get to that." UH, WTF? With my love of event planning and background in public speaking I figured I could at least do a better job than he did, and became ordained through the Universal Life Church. I filed my credentials with the states I wanted to be recognized in, paid some filing fees, and voila! Instant officiant!



Fast forward a few years: I had never really pursued booking a wedding, until one of my closest friends asked if I would perform her marriage. Jana and I had been friends since high school (after a short stint as mortal enemies, which is hilarious in retrospect), and I immediately agreed and was so honored to be a part of her big day. I knew I'd be emotional and a little nervous, but I had no idea when I accepted that I'd be 5 months pregnant and totally hormonal on top of it! Nor did Jana, but for some reason she stayed calm and didn't fire me...



The maid of honor, another high school friend, was supposed to keep me from crying by making faces or some other silliness when I started to crumble...but before we even walked out the door, she burst into tears herself! Oh no! I put on a brave face and marched down the aisle.



That morning had been cool and foggy, but by the time we were about to start the ceremony it was bright and sunny. We stood overlooking the shores of Lake Superior on a large outdoor patio.



I think I was shaking pretty hard as I opened the ceremony, and I flubbed one early line, but somehow the rest of it flowed pretty smoothly. I had written my own opening remarks, a welcome with wishes for the couple that was both funny and heartfelt (I hope - that's what I was going for at least).



We got more laughs in the middle, when Jana tried to put Justin's ring on the wrong hand...which didn't fit, but she wouldn't let that stand, so she basically twisted and wrenched it until she realized the mistake. The sweet groom just stood there and let her abuse him. He's well trained already! It was very funny and memorable, especially when the bride exclaimed, exasperated, "Is this the wrong hand?!?!"



Jana had sent me the vows, but really gave me free reign on the rest of the ceremony. Though I'm not religious, I found a beautiful poem for the closing words that I think fit the occasion perfectly:

The Wedding Prayer, By Robert Louis Stevenson:

Lord, behold our family here assembled.
We thank you for this place in which we dwell,
for the love that unites us,
for the peace accorded us this day,
for the hope with which we expect the morrow,
for the health, the work, the food,
and the bright skies that make our lives delightful;
for our friends in all parts of the earth.
Amen.

And then I got to say those magical words - and they were REAL! - "By the power vested in my by the State of Minnesota, I now pronounce you husband & wife. Would you like to kiss the bride?"



(He did)
(And they lived Happily Ever After)
(And I filed the marriage license on time)

Jana and Justin, thank you so much for including me in your wedding, it was absolutely beautiful. I wish you health, wealth, and happiness for all of your days!

All of the above were shot by John at Celebration Photography.

Today I will be happy, dammit.

I had a remarkably crabby day yesterday (there was much discussion of stabbing someone with my letter opener, but somehow bloodshed was avoided) and in an attempt to create a much more tolerable day today, I'm pulling out all the stops to manufacture happiness:

- wearing a new sweater ($9 on the clearance rack at Motherhood)

- wearing new (to me) corduroy pants ($4.99 at Goodwill!)

- accessorized with blue sparkly necklace (bling = happiness) and striped socks

- looking forward to the cheesy but addicting "Vampire Diaries" season premier tonight

- put together the rest of my new dining set last night! The table looks fab, went together very easily, and I can't wait to start using it.

- lunch with Dad! And on a day I forgot/was too lazy to scavenge for something to bring!

- hubby and I caught up on the MOUNTAIN of laundry we had accumulated. It's still not put away, but at least it is a CLEAN mountain now

And I'm spending my morning looking at all the cute things on Etsy that I covet for my Pirates & Mermaids themed nursery, such as:


Walk the Plank print on vintage dictionary page from Etsy seller Winterberrycottage:



I love this because it fits the theme, but also because books and reading are so important to my husband and I (both English majors), and we hope that same joy will be found by our little one.

I have always been fascinated by these folded stars, we had some on our Xmas tree when I was growing up - how fun are they for a mobile?



From Etsy seller Starcraft, I'm drawn to this even though it doesn't necessarily fit the theme, the colors are so great and bright. Plus, compared to shaped mobiles which are ridiculously expensive, this seems much more my speed!

This melts my heart a little:



Mermaid Hugs print from Etsy Seller RubysBrush, it's just too sweet for words. I actually have a couple other mermaid prints I bought YEARS ago that I'm excited to find and frame for the nursery as well - I'm thinking ornate thrift store frames could be really fun.

I haven't bought anything yet, but just the "window" shopping and planning is fun. Plus, How could I be in a bad mood after looking at such pretty things?

Here's hoping your day is bright and bearable...

H.

THE SQUEAKY WHEEL GETS THE GREASE! or, the truth of cliches...

Yesterday I started a bunch of whiny posts about how close Halloween is getting and how little energy I have to put all my party dreams into reality. Luckily, the handy dandy "delete" button saved you from having to skim over them, because honestly, I know nobody cares. Suffice it to say, I had a momentary freak out over the weekend realizing that I have less than 2 months and STILL have not gotten started on things I'd planned almost a year ago...oops.

BUT! I'm not saying I didn't get ANYTHING accomplished this weekend, because I summoned all of my energy for the following:

- Replaced the mesh screen on the washing machine discharge. That took about 12 seconds (and another hour to chip off the old one, which was so full of lint it looked like a blue sock. Not sure which blue clothes have disintegrated, but that's a problem for another day...

- thought really hard about all the other things I WANTED to do, but didn't have the energy for...

And that brings us to yesterday, when I actually/accidentally had a pretty big accomplishment: I learned the truth in an important old adage:

THE SQUEAKY WHEEL GETS THE GREASE!

(and the unspoken afterthought - the Minnesota Nice wheel who stays quiet and polite gets treated like crap until it breaks. The End).

But seriously folks, two little anecdotes on the importance of pushing for satisfaction, even though it seems the world of customer service is waiting to quash you at ever turn.

Story #1, remember my table? It was supposed to look like this:



but instead it had a giant crack, a crack that had clearly happened while the holes were being drilled, and some lazy worker still threw it in the satisfactory pile. It was a fairly cheap table, from a notoriously crappy retailer, and I really just wanted the thing up and working so I could get the box/extra pieces/old table put out to pasture, and I briefly considered just sucking it up and living with a cracked table. Briefly. Then I called the manufacturer, Whalen Furniture. They were IMMEDIATELY responsive! With zero attitude or red tape they processed my request for a new tabletop and it arrived yesterday! I don't have to deal with sending the broken one back, and while it was a little inconveniencing to wait another week + to finish assembling the set, I'm really satisfied and applaud their customer service. Which I don't do often or lightly. Thank you, Whalen Furniture, for not being the douchebags I expected! I'm very excited to have a "real" dining room set up, for the first time in my adult life.

Story #2, I've had my T-mobile WebConnect Rocket for around a month, and despite my high hopes, it wasn't working well. And if anything, it was getting worse. I was past my 14 day trial period (which flew by, so even though I waffled on taking it back right away, I didn't make it), and this thing wasn't even loading my Gmail, was kicking us off ever 2-3 minutes, and overall was the worst piece of crap since whatever came before dial up. And I had paid $200 for it, plus $40/month. Having some experience with the world, I just assumed I had been sold a line of crap as so many retailers do these days, but I was so irritated I finally called T-mobile to complain:

"Either I was completely lied to, or this thing is defective! Harrumph!"

"So sorry ma'am, it sounds like something is definitely wrong. Let me check the settings on our end..."

Lo and behold, someone changed some numbers in some computer, and the damn thing started working. WORKING WELL. Like really well, as well as our Qwest service had worked but cheaper and without requiring the phone bill. Whoa. Should I have HAD to call and make them change settings? No, they should probably make sure everyone's settings are right if they are in the business of selling this product. The little tech guy who helped me was really nice, despite the clear ire in my voice, and he resolved the problem, but if I hadn't called I'd still be pissed off and struggling.

So the moral of both stories is clear:

Don't settle for crap products or crap service. You shouldn't HAVE to complain, in an ideal world companies would take pride in their businesses and only offer the best - but that has gone by the wayside as cheaper/faster/more surpassed quality. And while it takes a little more time and effort, it's worth it to get the item you thought you were paying for - otherwise I'd have a cracked dining set and no Internet, while still being out my hard earned money.

We came, we saw, we got GaGa-ed

Note: click for larger photos - if you link to my photos, please give me credit

Our seats were amazing. We could even see shoes (very important at a GaGa show!). The crowd was hilarious - same vibe as the mermaid parade, as far as glitter and lack of clothing, but somehow I'm even more impressed to see it in my own home town. Way to go, St. Paul. A few memorable fashions:



Light up headpieces = love.



Homage to "Telephone"



There was so much sparkle, shine, and glitter in the Xcel center, I'm guessing if you shone a strong light on it you could creatures on other planets. I ended up going a little more subdued, with a vintage-inspired polka dot dress, feather fascinator, and pearl accessories. I did choose the ugly but comfortable shoes, and I'm glad I did, a few times up and down those Xcel stairs and I would have been done for in heels.

I definitely got my fill in the VIP lounge:



Fun schwag bags filled with a beach towel and GaGa glasses:



Totally hated the opening band, so we'll skip them entirely - instead, a tiny peek at the Monster Ball in case you missed it:













I counted at least 15 costume changes, we got to hear the world premier of a new song from the upcoming album, lots of half naked backup dancers, an animatronic headpiece with matching wings, and the outfit I most covet (and Ryan could definitely start making...):



FULL BODY GLITTER JUMPSUIT. I bet it's made of something stretchy, and would totally adjust to maternity sizes. As long as I don't have to wear those heels with it. :)

I was a little worried about the babe during the opening act (someone tell this dude it's SINGING not SCREAMING! AAAACK!), but she didn't give me too much trouble:



Definitely a once in a lifetime experience, thanks again to my crazy Dad, Happy B-day to my BFF Ryan, and kudos to all the Little Monsters for the entertaining people watching. Peace, Love, and GaGa!

My baby can beat up your baby...

We've been lucky to receive a lovely assortment of cards and messages since announcing our big news, and a week ago came our first baby gift:



MOST AWESOME BABY GIFT EVER!!! Yep, those are temporary tattoos for your infant. My infant. My living breathing dress up doll, at least until she can start ripping off pieces and complaining about it. I can't wait to lovingly apply these images to pudgy baby arms:



I think the pacifier with the spikes might be my favorite, I love the juxtaposition of the cuddly baby items with the hard core twists of thorns, metal, and barbed wire. Perfect for the natural faux hawk stage all babies seem to go through. Now where do I get baby roller derby outfits?

Thanks, Amy! Love them!